


In Which Elias is Beaten Up by an Angry Goth

by thehaikubandit



Series: Memento Mori (Friendship is Keay) [2]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: also plenty of non-canon approved swearing, and gets what's coming to him, elias is a jerk, lonely eyes and your choice as to whether they have phone sex, or Elias bitches about Gerry, or both at the same time, sometimes you invade your employee's dreams, sometimes you pick up a protective ghost, warning for being beaten up by an angry goth and the threat of eye trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:55:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22970620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehaikubandit/pseuds/thehaikubandit
Summary: Gerry settles into life as a ghost in Jon's head much to Elias's dismay, and takes his frustrations out on Elias. At least Gerry has a good time!
Relationships: Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas
Series: Memento Mori (Friendship is Keay) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1647388
Comments: 53
Kudos: 269





	In Which Elias is Beaten Up by an Angry Goth

Elias sees something is wrong with Jon from the moment he walks off the plane. It had been a little harder to keep an eye on him from this side of the Atlantic, but now, well… Now it was crystal clear. He’d picked up a hitchhiker. Interesting… He watches Jon’s confused thoughts as the memories of Gerard Keay begin to merge with his own. Elias knows the disorientating process all too well.

“Jon,” he says as soon as his Archivist enters the office. “Welcome back. Are you feeling… alright? The flight can be so unpleasant at times.”

“I, I’m fine. I want to get back to work.”

Elias can see him running through thoughts of a high school German class that wasn’t his. Jon shakes his head and tries to clear it.

“Well,” Elias says. “If you ever want to talk...”

“Why would I ever want to talk to you?”

“The offer is there. That’s all I can do.” He smiles at Jon.

“No. I’m going to the Archives.”

“As you wish.”

He watches Jon make his way unsteadily down the stairs before turning back to his spreadsheets. It will be _very_ interesting to see how this unfolds.

~

Two weeks later and Elias is disappointed. Jon has stopped being dragged into memories that aren’t his, and if anything, Gerard Keay is more stable than ever. Elias himself has plenty of experience with sharing a mind. It had taken him a mere nine days to deal with James Wright. And only five to get rid of this body’s original occupant. But Jon doesn’t seem to be aware of what’s going on, so perhaps that’s why it’s taking him a little longer.

Closing his eyes, Elias slips carefully into Jon’s dreams. He finds himself in a university laboratory, while a corpse whispers in the ear of a woman with dark, curly hair. Jon watches it all unfold, unblinking. And behind him stands Gerard Keay, looking much the same as when Elias had seen him last. He wears that ridiculous coat, has a face full of metal, a braided goatee, a terrible dye job, and is covered in tattooed eyes. Elias has never been impressed by those. The man didn’t know how to use them properly when he was alive, and worse, they looked tacky. They still do.

Elias stands where he Knows he is out of Gerard’s line of sight, while still watching the dream unfold. It wouldn’t do to be seen; his role is to _do_ the Seeing. Luckily, he’s had practice moving through Jon’s dreams without being noticed. It keeps Elias entertained. Peter is away after all, and he needs something to amuse himself with.

~

Over a month later and Elias is beginning to get very irritated. Not only does he have to deal with Melanie’s attempts to poison his coffee, and listen to Tim whining, but Jon still hasn’t shaken the… parasite… he’d picked up in America. To make matters worse, Elias can hear what it tells him. The eagerness with which it gives him information means that Jon isn’t working towards becoming the Archivist in the way that he should. And it seems to think of _his_ Archivist as _its_ friend. Disgusting. So, he goes to plan B and picks up his phone.

“Rosie?”

“Yes Elias?”

“Will you call the Archives staff in for a meeting? Tell them it’s very important.”

The statement Gertrude had recorded on the Mechanical Turk and the last attempt at the Unknowing will have to do. Jon can’t be trusted to find out what he needs to know about how to stop it on his own. Not with that _thing_ in his head.

~

“Oh,” says Elias before they all leave his office. “And, uh, Jon. Technically I can’t _stop_ you, but I would heavily advise against bringing any… rogue elements.”

_Fuck you, arsehole._

Really, had Gertrude failed to teach the boy any manners? Maybe Mary had been too much of an influence on him...

“You _can_ just say Tim,” says Martin.

He doesn’t mean Tim, but he’ll let them think that. He’s tried. Hopefully Gerard is now aware that Elias knows he’s there. Maybe he’ll interfere less.

He complains about it later on the phone to Peter.

“Really, how hard is it to deal with one ghost? The ink left his body weeks ago.”

“I have to go.”

“No you don’t, you owe me at least another twenty minutes.”

“So you can complain about your useless project? I come out here to be alone.”

“Oh hush, surely me being so focused on someone else makes you feel… lonely.”

“Are you trying to make me jealous? Of that… tiny, scar covered librarian?”

“Is it working?” 

“No...”

But Elias gets his twenty minutes. And they make the most of them.

~

He missed the Unknowing thanks to Martin and Melanie’s pathetic distraction. And now Jon is lying in a coma, his body barely functioning while it tries to recover from his death. At least he must be free of Gerard now, lying in his hospital room. Elias can finally admire the result of all his hard work.

He smiles as he hears the familiar click of a tape recorder.

“Statement of Elias Bouchard,” he says. “Regarding the dreams of Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, currently unresponsive. Details pulled directly from subject. Statement begins.”

Elias once more finds himself in the dreams of the Archivist. It’s a cold, clean room with blood pouring from beating hearts that sit on steel tables. There isn’t any rhythm to the beating, just strange spasms. Jon stands in the centre watching a weeping man in a lab coat. He doesn’t blink, doesn’t react, simply drinks it all in. Elias himself stands and watches. He relishes the feeling of _seeing_ and of watching Jon experience what it feels like to see.

He loses himself in the sight, and as the dream shifts to a woman typing frantically at computer keys he shivers with delight. But he’s made a mistake. A mistake he realises when a sharp pain flares in the back of his knee. The kind of pain that feels like a heavy, steel capped boot making contact with a joint. His dream self falls to the ground with a shout. He knows that his actual body will have given the same shout.

“Hello, you voyeuristic cunt,” comes the familiar, if furious, voice of Gerard Keay. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing in Jon’s head?”

“Gerard. I’d hoped you’d gone.”

“Hmm,” says Gerard pensively. “Too bad, so sad.”

Elias gives another grunt as the heavy boot connects with his ribs.

“You. Do. Not. Get. To. Fucking. Touch. Him.”

A kick follows each word. The last one is to his stomach, and Elias retches. He spits out blood onto what is now a rain-soaked road.

“And what do you plan to do to stop me?” asks Elias. “You’re a half-digested ghost in a comatose body. He’s going to consume you eventually. It’s what always happens. Maybe you’ve hung around a little longer than you should have, but give it time.”

Gerard’s response is to pull him up by the hair, tilting his face back. Around them, the dream becomes an earth filled train carriage, and the falling soil lands on Elias’s face. Through the dirt he sees Gerard give a fierce grin.

“I’ve always wanted to do this.”

He brings his head down at the same moment he pulls Elias up and smashes their heads together. Elias hears the crunch of what was his nose. He screams again, choked with dirt and blood.

“You smug _fucking_ git.”

Gerard looks at his fingers and then thoughtfully back at Elias.

“I wonder,” he says, voice calm, and too cheerful for Elias’s liking. “Can you still spy on him without your eyes?”

He doesn’t get the chance to find out. As he lowers his hand towards Elias’s face, Elias leaves the dream. He knows when he’s had enough.

He reopens his physical eyes to find them watering with pain. He’s fallen from his chair onto the floor and curled himself into a ball. This should not have happened. This is not what was _meant_ to happen. Gerard Keay should have been long gone.

Elias pulls himself back into his chair, hoping that his screaming wasn’t enough to bring anyone running. The last thing he wants is for anyone to witness what he’s been reduced to. It’s bad enough that his patron will know.

There’s a knock on his door and he has to try twice before he can get out any words.

“Come in.”

In some ways, the expected humiliation of his arrest is a welcome relief. At least he’s prepared for this.

**Author's Note:**

> All thanks go to the amazing Gier who I'm writing this series with for his inspiration, encouragement and excellent suggestions! I couldn't have done it without you, friend!
> 
> If you like this au you can find us on tumblr at friendship-is-keay
> 
> Updated for minor grammar edits because Space is a fucking gift and amazing and they're back editing these <3


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